Return to Normalcy
by Calliope3243
Summary: Valek struggles with his return to the castle without Yelena. Concerned for his friend, the Commander stops by for a chat and finds himself asking, "Why her?"


**This is my first fanfic so I'm hoping all goes well! If not, please review and berate me for the mangling of a wonderful series. Or if you like it. :)**

**Disclaimer: The characters belong to Maria V Snyder. I'm just borrowing them for a few entertaining encounters.**

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Three days after Yelena and Brazzell's "orphans" left for Sitia, the Commander and his retinue made their return for the castle. The Commander had sent for a number of healers and women experienced in childcare to attend the still comatose children, while control of Brazzell's manor and holdings was given over to a loyal Colonel until a new General could be appointed. Ari and Janco, who was still too weak to be moved, were assigned to monitor the manor for the next few weeks and to send regular reports to Valek. Though he would have preferred to tie things up himself, the Spymaster knew that he would be needed at the Commander's side more than ever, and the Commander needed to be back at the castle.

The return journey was surprisingly uneventful, though Valek partially wished that _something_ would happen, if only to keep his mind off the woman moving steadily farther away from him. Still, he knew he was better off not having to worry about the Commander's safety after everything that had happened already.

Life in the castle, when they returned, was surprisingly… normal. A new cook had to be appointed, along with a new set of personal guard for the Commander, and of course the new food taster. Valek gritted his teeth every time he thought about that. While Star was fairly adept at identifying poisons and would likely pass the test in a matter of days, Valek couldn't look at her without remembering the reason why they needed a new one in the first place.

It was an odd couple of weeks. For the most part, Valek threw himself into his work with a kind of fervor, hoping to distract himself from the upwelling of emotion he could feel hovering just beneath the surface. To anyone on the outside, Valek appeared perfectly normal, if a bit more curt and distant than usual. To the Commander, something was a bit off. Valek's reports lacked their typical fluid analysis, instead relying on abrupt detail and speculation. In the Commander's presence, Valek was thorough and respectful, but without much of the witty sarcasm that often filled their conversations.

Three weeks after their return to the castle, Valek sat at the desk in his suite, rereading prisoner files and avoiding his bed at all costs, when there was a knock at the door.

"Come," Valek called, hoping it was one of his sneaks with a report of something that urgently needed his attention and possibly required him to kill a few people in the process.

Instead, the Commander slipped smoothly through the doorway, settling himself before Valek's desk with a sigh.

Valek frowned. "I expected you'd be in bed by now, sir."

The Commander shrugged. "I could say the same for you, only by the looks of it I expect you're getting far less sleep than I am. Besides, I find myself not particularly fond of my dreams, of late."

_That_, Valek thought_, is the closest that man will ever come to admitting to having nightmares._

Valek nodded, setting aside the folder he'd been examining and leaning back in his chair. "I hope it's nothing urgent, then."

The Commander flapped his hand. "No, this is purely a social visit. I'm feeling oddly nostalgic lately, and I figured us avoiding sleep together is slightly less pathetic than doing so alone."

Valek snorted at that, rising to pour them each a glass of brandy before settling in his chair again. He sipped from both glasses, rolling the liquor around his tongue before handing one to the Commander with a nod.

The Commander chuckled. "Only you would test the drink you poured yourself from your own brandy bottle."

Valek shrugged. "Force of habit."

They were both silent for a moment, enjoying the warmth of the brandy and each other's company. Eventually the Commander sighed, resting his glass on his knee. "So. I know why _I'm_ avoiding sleep tonight. Care to explain your reasons?"

Valek grunted, fingering the ridges in his brandy glass thoughtfully. "Oh. A number of reasons, I suppose."

The Commander raised his brows. "First among them being…?"

Valek sighed heavily, setting the brandy down and running a hand over his eyes. "Her. Isn't it obvious? The most infamous assassin in Sitia and Ixia, driven sleepless and lovesick over a woman. I'm surprised the palace gossips aren't already having a field day with it."

The Commander chuckled. "It's not so obvious as you think. Though I will admit to some shock at how deeply it has affected you."

"You and me both." A wry grin crossed his face. "Twenty-eight years I spent without the slightest romantic inclination, and now less than a year with her and I keep thinking how I can't possibly live without her."

The Commander grimaced. "That bad?"

Valek could only nod.

He mulled that over for a moment. "Why?"

Valek glanced up, frowning. "What?"

"Why her? What makes you love her so much that it's driven you to this?"

Valek paused. His first reaction was to berate the Commander for ever thinking she could be worth anything less, but he knew that wasn't what he had meant. The Commander wanted to know what specifically about Yelena made him so hopelessly in love with her. "I'm not entirely sure. Of course, she's beautiful, but I've seen my share of beautiful women in my life. Stubborn. She's the only person, besides you and Margg, with the courage to stand up to me, so brave as well. She's brilliant, smart enough to keep up with the facets of espionage and manipulative enough to take advantage of what she knows. But loyal. And even after everything that's happened to her, she has the strength to go on living. Most people wouldn't."

The Commander frowned. "'Everything that's happened to her'? I assume you mean more than the year in our dungeon, multiple attempts on her life, and facing down two highly powerful traitors?"

Valek let out a gusty sigh. "I can't tell you the details. Those are hers to reveal. But… remember those children acting as Mogkan's power source?"

The Commander nodded. "They tried to do the same to her, I assume?"

"'Tried' being the operative word. When Yelena and I were walking through the manor looking for evidence of what Brazzell and Mogkan were up to, we came across Reyad's rooms. And she just… stopped. Like there was a physical force preventing her from entering. So I went in alone. And what I found…" He looked down at his hands, which were clenched into tight fists. "Shackles, hanging from the ceiling. Bloodstains on the floor. But the worst was this chest in the corner. It was… filled. Whips and chains and little knives. Gags. Ropes."

The Commander had frozen in his chair. "Yelena?"

Valek nodded. "They _tortured_ the magic out of her. And when she wouldn't submit to them they gave her to Reyad as a… as a _plaything_."

The Commander swallowed. "Was she…?"

Valek could only nod, watching the skin tighten over his hands as his fists clenched tighter.

The Commander's face had gone ashen and he sat, wide eyed. Valek glanced at the glass beside him, reaching to toss back the remainder of his drink before rising to pour himself another glass. Both men were silent for a few minutes.

Finally, the Commander whispered, "It's a miracle," – he coughed at the haunted look in Valek's eyes – "it's a miracle she's been able to trust anyone."

Valek nodded slowly. "That's certainly true. Not that she trusts easily, nor should she, but the fact that she can at all…" Valek closed his eyes, waiting until he had composed his emotions before opening them again. "I suppose that's another reason why I love her. She hasn't lost herself to what they did to her."

"And when, exactly, did you realize that you were truly in love with her?" the Commander asked blandly.

Valek's lips quirked up slightly. "It's hard to tell. The Fire Festival, I think, was the first time I knew it was more than just interest in a mystery to be solved. When I couldn't find her… and when I saw those men standing over her with the garrote around her neck… the thought of losing her like that made me blind with fury. After that I couldn't really deny it."

The Commander snorted. "That long ago? When did you tell her?"

Valek flushed slightly. "About four weeks ago."

At this the Commander let out a sharp laugh, a rarity for him. "The famously fearless Valek takes nearly a _year_ to tell a woman he has feelings for her?"

Valek grumbled. "It wasn't as simple as that. I had no idea what she felt for me, and I didn't want her to think I expected anything out of her because she was a prisoner and I was protecting her." Valek sighed, shaking his head. A sudden thought came to him, and a crooked grin flashed over his face. "Did I ever tell you that she tried to seduce me once?"

The Commander coughed on the sip of brandy he'd just taken, managing to force it down before looking at Valek incredulously. "When was this?"

Valek's grin spread wider. The memory, which before had served as a constant torment, now amused him to no end. "It was after the Brandy Meeting. I don't think she'd had much experience with liquor before that, so even the few sips from your drink were enough to get her pretty well drunk. We'd come back here, sitting on that couch," – he pointed across the room – "and talking about some arbitrary thing. What we would do with ourselves in a perfect, murder-free world, I think. And she just… grabbed at my belt."

The Commander snorted. "And what did you do?"

"Told her she was drunk, carried her to her bed, and got out of there as fast as my legs could carry me."

The Commander laughed uproariously at that, although Valek suspected that it was largely at his suspense. "Sometimes your sense of honor astounds me, Valek," he said after he had stopped laughing. "But if not then, when did you…? No, wait. Let me figure it out. Four weeks?"

Valek nodded.

"So that was just about the time we arrived at Brazzell's manor. They took her into custody immediately after she arrived, and the next time you saw her was after she had escaped. I doubt you would have told her then, with nothing to prompt you and more important things to worry about. Then you went exploring the manor… I suppose you could have said it after you found Reyad's room, but something tells me you went right past sympathetic and into anger. So not then, either. Then you were captured and put in prison, where she told you about her past… but, again, you would have been angry more than anything else. Not long after that the withdrawal symptoms kicked in – I'm still irritated that you lied to me about that, by the way – but she wouldn't have heard a word you said then, anyway. Then you made your 'escape' and spent a good number of hours hiding in the cells… Ah! It must have been then."

Valek nodded. "Astute as always."

A wicked grin spread across the Commander's face. "Now that I think about it, what _did_ you two do exactly with do much time to kill?"

Valek coughed. "By virtue of that sense of honor you mentioned earlier, I'm going to opt not to answer that question."

The Commander stifled another grin, raising his glass to his old friend instead. "To Honor."

Valek raised his in turn. "To Honor."

They both downed their glasses. Setting his on the desk, the Commander stood, stretching. "And with that, I think I'll head off to bed."

Valek settled back in his chair. "Goodnight then, Commander."

"Sweet dreams, Valek," he replied wickedly.

Valek was contemplating throwing his glass at the Commander's retreating head when the man turned, hand on the doorknob. "By the way, I've just received a letter from Sitia inviting an Ixian peace delegation to visit in the next few months. I was thinking of sending my cousin, Signe. She would need some very _discrete_ protection to broker peace in a potentially hostile nation. I'm sure you'll take care of it?"

Valek struggled to hide the elation that suddenly swelled within him. "Of course, sir."

The Commander nodded. "Good."

When the door closed, Valek let a wide grin spread across his face. Suddenly, the idea of going to bed that night seemed far less daunting.

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**The End.**

**What do you think? I was hoping to dive a bit into the relationship between the Commander and Valek, seeing as they're likely each other's closest friends. What are they like in private without matters of state to worry about? That sort of thing. Anyway, I couldn't resist the thought of them bro-ing it up over some brandy.**


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